Infertility is among one of the biggest issues among couples since time immemorial. Culturally, people have associated having children with blessings. Those who are barren or cannot get children due to medical conditions view themselves as not blessed.
Let us discuss what God says about infertility in this article and why you should wait for God’s time as a Christian. Infertility should never be seen as a punishment from God but rather a complication that God can help in clearing if you have faith.
There are many myths and misconceptions surrounding the issue that continues to affect the perception of many when it comes to the issue of childbirth that if not addressed on time might drive couples into depression.
Some of the concerns are addressed below to help understand more about infertility and some of the facts around it that can debunk the myths around the issue.
What God says about Infertility
One of the commonly stated phrases in the Bible is in the creation story where God commissions Adam and Eve to ‘be fruitful and multiply’ (Genesis 1:28). However, there are women in the Bible that were barren. These included David’s wife Michal, Deborah, Miriam, and Dinah.
This is to infer that the phrase ‘be fruitful and multiply’ did not apply to everyone even in the Bible times. The instances of Jacob and Noah when the phrase was told to them were at a point where they could no longer get more offspring.
However, Romans 5:3-5 encourages that even in suffering and affliction, there is the benefit of perseverance that bears character and hope. Hope does not bring shame since God’s love is always with his people.
Similarly, Isaiah 54: 1 states that the barren woman should be happy and sing in joy for she has more children than others for she welcomes all into her tents.
Infertility in the bible
God’s answer can also be no. In Matthew 20:20-34, we see two responses to two requests that might raise an intriguing concept to understand the way God answers prayers. In verse 21, he asks Zebedee’s wife what she wants while in verse 32 he asks the two blind men what they would desire.
The responses are obvious, but asking from God is a way of encouraging involvement and asking directly as stated in Matthew 7:7-8. For the blind men, Jesus said yes and made the see again.
However, for Zebedee’s wife, the answer was no. James 4:3 explains better the response by stating that anything asked in ‘wrong motives’ can never be granted. Verse 25 pointed out that Zebedee’s wife made a request to achieve what she would brag over others.
When asking for God’s blessing is not pure, the answer we receive will always be no.
The last answer God gives is to wait. In Job 15:1-18:21, we see the different challenges Job was facing with the most painful being negative and irritating comments from his closest friends and at one point from his wife.
The friends of Job bring out one of the significant concerns when it comes to unanswered prayers. According to his friends, Job was suffering due to the sins he had committed, his wickedness, and guilt.
Often times, mothers with no children consider themselves to have done something wrong to deserve the outcomes. However, just as in Jobs situation, Jesus was his intercessor/ advocate and was representing the case of Job to God as for that of a friend.
Despite the many losses Job underwent during the trial, the outcome was the best he could ever want. He was prosperous again and his daughters are the only ones the Bible refers to as the most beautiful (Job 42:15).
Similar to a woman asking for God’s blessing, it might be that God is interceding on her behalf and the outcome could exceed their expectation. Thus despite the wait, God might be having his plan in place to answer the prayer.
Trusting God through Infertility
Infertility comes with various issues including rejection from society, family members, and even closest friends. The experience is unbearable for an infertile woman especially in a generation where friends and family often ask reasons for not conceiving.
Even in infertility, Isaiah 54:4 encourages the barren woman that she should never be afraid for she will never be put to shame or disgraced for the Lord their maker is their husband and also the God of all earth.
Through understanding and learning about the promises of God, barren women can better understand and accept their situation for who they are and strive to be positive rather than be depressed about their situation.
Trusting God For A Baby
The Bible promises in Psalm 113:9 that God settles the woman with no child as a mother of children and children are God’s reward. In God’s promises, James 1:17 says that any good gift is from God who always remains the same every day.
God is the provider to everyone and the time of blessing one with a child is different from the expectation of humans. Isaac prayed that God bless his wife with children and even though she was childless, Rebekah gave birth.
Hebrew 11:11 by faith, Sarah who was past the age of childbearing gave birth for she believed that God’s promise comes to pass.
For a barren woman, having the hope that God’s promises will come to pass is an encouragement to encourage positivity and perseverance in the challenges they face around them.
Trusting God to get Pregnant
The longing to be a mother is a dream of any parent, which also comes with their constant efforts to make this a reality. However, as James 1:7 says, any good gift comes from God who once he promises can never change to give a different answer.
As such, for the barren woman, the belief that in God they are assured of being a mother, it should be a promise they claim from God, but with the humility that God answers in different ways.
Thus, when the answer is no, then the response as a human being should not be that it is a punishment since God knows better than the extents of human thinking.
Infertility and Christianity
Despite the realization that a couple cannot have children, Ephesians 1:11-12 encourages that in God there is a predestined plan that is an assurance will work in conformity with the purpose of God’s will to attain the best in his glory.
For the infertile couples, understanding their situation and being contented that in God there is a plan for them is one of the ways of getting through life with the belief that God will materialize the promises of Jeremiah 29:11 of plans of prosperity amidst the challenges of everyday situations.
Why won’t God Give Me a Baby?
The blessing of becoming a parent is dependent on many factors that in many cases are either assumed or due to the nature of humanity are taken lightly.
From a religious perspective, conceiving is a blessing from God and answered prayers, which has to be understood from the perspective that God works in mysterious ways that humans cannot understand.
At the same time, the answer to prayers is not certain at all times. The understanding that God works in different ways is one of the reasons prayers are not being answered as per human expectations.
The answer could be a wait or even no, but to the human perspective, this is seen as an unanswered prayer.
At the same time, praying with wrong intentions is also one of the other reasons that prayers for a child remain unanswered. Lacking true intentions in making requests to God limits the chances of God answering the prayers.
Signs God Wants You To Have A Baby
Various signs mark the readiness of a woman to become a mother. One of the most obvious is a woman’s openness to caring for a child. In most cases, women focus on being ready to become a mother rather than whether they can love a child.
The ability to accept and love a child unconditionally is a critical factor a woman can consider as a sign of becoming a mother. Holding on to a past trauma might limit the preparedness of a woman to become a mother unless the baggage is lifted.
Similarly, when a woman wants to become a mother, they have to develop responsibility. Becoming a mother means being selfless and devoting personal interests for the sake of someone else.
This might be a huge burden on the part of the soon to be a mother. However, when a woman starts feeling more responsible and willing to settle it might be a sign from God they are ready to become a mother.
Is Infertility a Punishment From God?
One of the most common arguments that arise when it comes to the issue of infertility is the question of infertility being a punishment from God.
The perception that infertility being viewed as a consequence of wrongdoing is due to the number of cases of abortion and unwanted pregnancies that continue to increase every day.
Many couples are unable to get children while teenagers and other women who are not expecting children end up pregnant even after a one-night stand.
However, the biggest concern is failing to think on the positive about possible outcomes that might change over time. The fact is that infertility is not a punishment from God.
God answers prayers in three different ways; He either says yes, no, or tells one to wait depending on the situation. In Psalms 17:13-15, the Bible presents an example of a positive response from God.
The verses talk about the character David develops through his lifetime, He exemplifies what prayer represents. Prayer is more than just asking for things from God; it also entails seeking to walk and commune with God every day.
David proclaims that he cried out to God when facing his enemies and since he had a good commune with God, his answer was yes. Same applies to when asking of God for a bundle of joy, it should not only focus on getting the outcome, but being committed to establishing a relationship with God first.
Therefore, even with the worst of situations, God can always present a miracle that no human being or science can explain.
Trusting in God as the creator and giver of life to present his blessings as it fits his plan is a hope that any woman can cling to in their desire to becoming a mother in the future.